Body Language As A Potent Form of Communication

2010-05-01
THE GUARDIAN Newspaper- Alita Joseph

SOME things are better not said. It does not however mean that such things are never communicated or understood. But because of the enormity or weight of such things, it is felt that put in words, the full meaning are lost completely, belittled or undermined.

For instance, when we find a situation so shocking, we declare that we are short of words, so unconsciously our body language takes over. So we wring our hands in frustration or clap them dramatically.

Our facial expressions can say quite a lot too. That is why we can understand other people even though not much words may have been exchanged, but by looking at faces to catch what they mean to say. Therefore, body language has been described as the strongest form of communication.

You can say polite words because we have been taught that the word of the mouth should be good, but backing it up with a pleasant movement when all you feel is repulsion can be difficult unless you are a good actor.

Also, the woman who is known to be careful, hesitant or a pretender even may say 'no' to a love proposal the first time the man approaches her may be transparent with her body response that screams 'yes, oh, yes,' hence a guy can correctly interpret or guess that she is interested. So, he is willing to play the waiting or chasing game.

We can hardly do much without the body language. We can read the lips correctly as well as interpret the sudden change in her style of walking when she is nearby. We know that she is interested simply by observing the way the whole of her body appears to be smiling when he looks at her. The way her eyes light up tells us that she is fully turned in even though she does not say anything to confide in us.

The man too can be very funny in the way he transmits his feeling of being with you. He may actually turn his back on you, if you are in a group. If you in despair however, watch where his shoulder is turned. It will be turned to the one he feels completely with emotionally. A shoulder to lean on, right?

Action speaking louder than words, he pats on the back of the hand to reassure you instead of speaking. Body language speaks volumes wherever we are, at home work or play.

Your body can betray you too, giving you out as treacherous or simply rude. For example, when in the company of other people and want to feel more sophisticated, we may behave in some way that we think are beckoning, but can be interpreted as bad training, like crossing your arms and legs. Maybe you are sitting like that because you want to feel more comfortable but your company may not like it because what you say is that you are not interested in what is going on around you. You may be telling them that you do not hear what is being said and do not want to understand.

You have not put it in words, but sitting in this position, your contribution to the topic would likely be mumbles and that far away look that says that you would rather be elsewhere with another person. You may not intend to, but you may be inferring that the person you are with is not to be trusted or that he is dangerous, so you feel that you need to protect yourself from an unknown danger.

These negative transmissions may not be the way you feel at all, it may be habit formed earlier. You can correct them by finding something to do with your hand. Play with an object. Get used to not crossing them by putting one hand in your pocket. If you put both hands in your pocket, you appear nervous or interested. Leaving one hand free, you can use to make gestures which shows that you are good listener.

Avoiding Eye Contact

Avoiding eye contact says that you are nervous and not sure of yourself. You can be interpreted to say that you are not trustworthy too.

If you find it difficult to meet people's eyes, practice by maintaining a stare for longer periods of time. It may be difficult but start by looking at the area between the eyes, you will feel comfortable and appear to be enjoying yourself in that company.

Touching a part of the body or jewellery, you are inferring that you are nervous and childish. When you feel like doing this, check yourself, look around to see how other people who appear to be having fun around you manage to cope. If you pay full attention, you will be able to notice those bad habits you adopt when you are nervous and put a stop to them.

Looking Around When You Are With People

The honest truth is that you were bored, but the meeting would not break up so you decided to check out what is happening by looking around. And in-between the time too, your telephone proved to a good diversion. So you looked at it all the time. This action gives you out as someone who is arrogant and rude.

You should be polite even if you do not understand what is being discussed. Look interested, lean close to the person who is speaking, nod your head in agreement with the words. If you are too bored to even pretend, excuse yourself and leave. Give an explanation why you must 'regretfully leave this interesting meeting.' Say that you are expected somewhere.

But if you are caught staring longingly at the exit, say that you were expecting someone to meet you there so you have to keep your eyes at the door.

 

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